Renew and Rebirth

Today is the Spring Equinox. The official start of spring, no matter the weather. The spring equinox is when day and night are an even 12 hours. Equinox means "equal night". The Equinox happens twice a year at the beginning of spring and winter. A Perfect Balance. We spend a lot of time trying to find this "perfect balance" in our lives and place a lot of guilt on ourselves when we don't. Taking a clue from nature and astronomy, we learn perfect balance doesn't happen often. And that life isn't meant to be in perfect balance all the time.

What nature seems to understand is that perfect balance rarely happens and major expansions occur when it isn't a perfect balance. Nature understands that it is always in balance for what ever is occurring. Equinox or perfect balance is the brief moment before the world resets and the next major change occurs. Nature understands that it needs to be a little darker during the winter so the plants, animals and humans may spend time resting in preparation for the spring and summer. Nature understands that death must occur in the fall in order for rebirth to occur in the spring. It also understands that the rebirth and regeneration of spring must occur after the hibernation of the winter.

Could our lives be more peaceful if we realized that balance is an ever-changing flow and not a static moment? There will be times when we need to focus on one area of ours lives more than another. And that is okay. There will be times when we need to sleep and rest more than we may be comfortable with. But that is okay. There may be times when we are in full bloom and others when we are pushing through the "dirt". And that is also okay. Be gentle with yourself. Send kind words and nice thoughts to yourself. And water often.

Sitting at the Feet of Grief

Five months ago I quit my job. I had known for at least two years that I needed to quit but I kept giving myself all of the excuses of why I needed to keep that job. Eventually, my mental and physical health crashed. I was struggling to make it through the workday and had no energy to complete anything when I came home. So, I quit without a really Plan B. I convinced myself that I would work on my business and figure out the rest.  And then I commenced to sleep almost all day every day for 4 months. 

This scared the hell out of me. Something had to be wrong. I never just do nothing. I had never slept for days at a time. And being an overachiever and a self-diagnosing physician I could not just flow with this. Something had to be wrong. So, I started researching causes for fatigue because this wasn't just ordinary tiredness. What was it? Was it depression? Was it cardiac disease? Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? Adrenal Gland Insufficiency? Could it be grief?

I came to the conclusion that a few of these diagnosis were probably in play. But grief was the main culprit. I wasn't taking care of myself because of the grief and it was causing me to be unhealthy. I was depressed because the grief was becoming overwhelming. The grief was overwhelming because I hadn't fully addressed it. Or I was only looking at a part of my grief.

So, I did more research on grief and read my tarot cards. It was getting close to my birthday so I did my yearly tarot reading. I wound up doing three because I was trying to find a tarot spread that gave me only the information I needed to know. For all three spreads Five of Cups was my theme/overview for the year. Five of Cups is all about deep loss, sorrow and grief. My friend and tarot teacher, Lindsay Mack, states that five of cups invites us to deeply feel our grief. To explore the depth of it. To feel what we have loss but start to remember that there are good things that are coming in their own sacred time.

One would think the obvious cause of my grief was the lost of my parental unit. My mom and dad died three years ago five days apart. And my uncle, who raised me like a daughter, died five months ago. This was grief I understood and could easily see and identify with. The grief I had not noticed was the loss of self.  That slow, steady, unconscious giving away of your values and blurring of boundaries. It starts pretty innocent and then you realize that you have given up dreams and goals to stay somewhere that no longer allows you to grow. I also had to acknowledge that my thoughts and beliefs about myself and my roles were a major part of the root cause of this grief. 

This isn't quick or easy work but I'm committing to starting the unpacking of the beliefs causing this deep-seated grief and loss of self. I know that tools such as meditation, journaling, tarot reading and herbal support with be the foundation of this deep dive. But sharing what I learn, staying true to my soul work and setting boundaries that allow me to expand will also be just as important and healing.

I would love to hear about your experiences with grief and self loss. How did you navigate the pain and sorrow? Did you use specific tools or resources?  Post below.

Big Hugs and Much Love,

Dr. Vickie

Tarot, Love and Intuition


I bought my first Tarot deck three years ago. I loved the pictures and their archetypal meanings. I loved the structure of the Tarot compared to my oracle cards.  The cards always provided some needed insight but I was never really consistent with using them. A few months ago, I started using them again as part of my morning rituals. There was a totally different feel to them and how I related to the cards. I realized that over the past few years I had learned to trust my intuition and believe that it had my best interest at heart.

So, last month I participated in Lindsay Mack of Tarot for the Wild Soul's Tarot Challenge. It was the first time I did a tarot challenge. It changed my relationship and understanding of my cards. Up to this point I mainly would pull one card as part of my morning rituals. I had read numerous books on the meanings of the cards and had developed a remedial understanding of how they related to my life. But during the challenge I had to interpret how the cards that were turning up related to the challenge question in front of me. What did the universe need me to understand? What was my intuition trying to tell me? There were some questions I had to sit with for a few days to understand what my soul was trying to get me hear. I had to work HARD for the answers.
Using the cards and questions together, as a tool, greatly challenged me. It required me to drop in deeply and listen intensely to my soul and my ancestors.

So, I decided to try my hand at making a Tarot challenge. I reached out to Lindsay Mack to ask if I could use some of her questions from previous challenges. Thankfully she said yes. Next, I created questions that would help me go deep into areas of my life that were uncomfortable and where I didn't want to tread. Questions that would challenge me to listen to my divine thoughts and my intuition. Questions that would also allow me to expand my tarot knowledge and understanding of the cards.

It is a New Moon Tarot Challenge to acknowledge the nature flow of the universe. The moon, the sun, the seasons and the stars rise and fall without our intervention. Our intuition, our divine energy is a part of this flow. We just need to tap into it and the Tarot is a tool that can help. 

The Instagram Challenge is below. If you want to participate just pull a card to answer the question for the day, post a picture on Instagram and tag the post. If you want to go deeper with Tarot and learn a soul centered approach to Tarot check out Lindsay's eight week Tarot For The Wild Soul immersion. It is open now for registration. The course starts on September 6th. Lindsay is an amazing teacher. Her approach allows you to connect with your intuitive knowing and use Tarot as medicine for the soul. 

Big Hugs and Much Love,

Prayers and Love

Prayers and love is needed by all those who are suffering. And we all are suffering from something. So, here is a little prayer and love for us all.

May we all be free from suffering no matter the cause. May we be free from the suffering of losing everything from the forces of nature that are currently ravishing the world.

May we be free from the heartbreak of thinking we will be deported from the only land we have ever called home. 

May we be loved and respected just for the sheer fact that we are humans.  

May we be loved and respected no matter the color of our skin, who we love or the gender we identify as.  

May we love and respect each other no matter the color of our skin, who we love or the gender we identify as. 

May we be safe.

May we be physically safe from mother nature and her after mast.

May we be safe from the pain that strangles our heart as we try to find a way to navigate an increasing hostile world. 

May we be safe from sexism, racism, xenophobia and dictatorship. 

May we have ease in our lives.  

May we have ease as we work to overcome the injustices we see in the world.

May we have ease when the fight and hatred seems to be swallowing us up. 

May we have ease as we transform into the love warriors we forgot we were. 

May we be free from suffering. 

May we be loved and respected.

May we be safe. 

May we have ease in our lives. 

Love and Prayers


Self-love Ain't Easy

Self love ain't easy

Self love and self care have become the new buzz word for harried women trying to take care of themselves in a crazy mixed up world.

The terms have become marketer's new way to sell us more things we don't need and the message that we aren't enough. Self love has been painted in this technicolor haze of bubble baths and yoga mats. There often are pictures of the hard shit you had to do over and over again to make it to your yoga mat.

Self love is doing the hard shit because it's what's best for you and you love yourself enough to go through the fire.

 Self love is getting up at 5:30 in the morning when you are not a morning person because it is the only time you can surrender your pain to your yoga mat.

 Self love is going vegan when you love hamburgers because it is the best medicine to fight your battle against breast cancer.

 Self love is leaving your husband, not because the marriage is bad but because it just isn't right.

 Self love is saying no to family gathering because they always leave you raw and broken.

 Self love is telling the world to piss off because you love every curve, bruise and bump on your body.

 Self love is whispering sweet nothings and sending love letters to yourself when you don't, yet, believe what they say.

 Self love ain't easy but it is necessary, revolutionary and worth the struggle.

Listening to your pinky finger

It's hard to calm down when you aren't aware of your body. Yes, we are all aware, in a big sense of our bodies but how often during the day do we go into autopilot and become lost to everything around us including our bodies. We can't even remember how we got from one place to another. Have you ever paid any attention to your toenail unless it was hurting? Well, what we need most to handle the daily avalanche of emotions is presence.  If we aren't present in our bodies we can't control them on a cellular or energetic level. Today, we are going to focus on finding that sweet spot.

I want you to pick a body part that you normally don't pay much attention. For example, the fingernail of your 3rd finger on your left hand or the inside of your nose. Have you picked a part? Okay, now spend the next minute thinking about your chosen part. What did you feel? Did you feel tingling, warmth or maybe nothing? Now, remember that feeling. During the day I want you to refocus over and over again on your special body part. This part is going to be your special friend when you become stressed. Your "little friend".

Practice this special body part awareness as often as you can remember. Continue to connect feelings of peace or calmness to this body part. So, when the lady in front of you insist on paying for three cartons on Almond milk separately so she can get the discount, you can regenerate that calmness and show kindness to this lady. This may be the only way she can provide her children with healthy food.

But, the most important thing to remember is that there is no right way or wrong way to progress through this body awareness or through life. So go share the authentic, totally messy, divine you with the world.

Hug and Kisses

The Beauty in the Dark

I have never been a light, easy women. There has often been a serious, heaviness to how I traveled in the world. I have always longed for answers to the unanswerable questions of life. I love mucking around in the shadow, dark side of life. Even as a little person I desired deep conversations that talked to my soul.

I have always loved the dark side of life. The place where the unmasked, raw truth resides. The place that is scary, dark and there are no night lights to guide you. The dark, shadowy places are where the dirty work of self-realization and self-love occurs. But we must bring what we learn to the light. We can't get stuck in a constant cycle of looking for things to fix or believing that our strength and gifts can only be shared when all our issues have been fixed.

The dark can become comfortable. The struggle can become comfortable. It can become easier to be in an eternal cycle of fixing ourselves than to being presence in life. Yes, there will always be issues that trigger strong emotional responds that we have to learn to navigate. But life should not always be about removing or squashing these triggers or emotions.

There has to be light and we have to stand in that light. We must know that life is about Just Being. Just being bumpy. Just being cracked. Just being bright. Just being amazing flawed. Just being presence. Just being human.




Who's Ya' Mama!

Easter, 1974

Easter, 1974

I am the daughter of Ruth. Who was the daughter of Clara. Who was the daughter of Hattie. Who was the daughter of former slaves.

I am the daughter of the Earth. I am the daughter of the Suffrage Movement. I am the daughter of the Civil Rights Movement. I am the daughter of the Gay Rights movement. I am the daughter of the Lakota Pipeline Resistance.

We are all the daughters of someone who was also the daughter of someone. And if you are American your people were once immigrants or slaves. In other words, they have been through hell and back to make sure their genetics survived.

We will survive Trump's presidency. Our fight to retain and stand up for our human rights is no different then the generations that came before us. Those generations often shielded us from the fights they had so we could be comfortable. We are no longer comfortable. It's our turn to fight.

Yes, I'm pissed that half of the American population were okay with having a president who appears to hate and fear everybody except rich white men. But then I had to remember that the other half wanted nothing to do with his hate and fear. His election proves that we have made progress toward all Americans having equal right and this scares the shit out of a large part of the population. His election also proves that we have a lot more work to do. And complaining on social media, praying without action and going back to our comfort zone is not going to change anything.

First, we have to take care of our selves. We will not last long in the fight if we are tired, distracted and burnt-out. The changes we want will not happen overnight. It will take a lifetime and we have to be prepared. No one goes to war without preparing their bodies and minds. Now is the time to incorporate meditation, body awareness movement or a plant based diet into you life. I suggest starting with a meditation method that feels right and do it at least three times a week.

Second, we have to put our money and time into organizations that work to make the world a better place. Pick one or two causes, not every cause that touches your heart, and commit to making a change. There are too many injustices to put your energy into every one. This will water down your power. You have to have faith that there are other people fighting for the other injustices and together we will change the world.  

Third, we have to show the next generation how to fight for equal rights for all people. Whether we agree their lifestyle or not. Everyone has the right to just be themselves.  We have to teach them by our daily action not just talk. Children can see through the bull. You need to expose them to a diversity of people, places and experiences.

I promise you we will survive. We are the daughters of our mothers. Who were the daughters of our grandmothers.  We are the daughters of the Earth. And this isn't the first time we have had to fight to survive.

Sacred Sampler

5 stages of transformation because life is all about transformation and change. You get to decide whether it will be a conscious process. The stages were easy to delineate and determine where you are on the journey.

Yoga is about so much more than pretzel like poses. Yoga is a system of wellness and Ayurveda is an important part of it. You need to check out the the rest of this podcast, The Get Well Podcast. Love these ladies!

We Will Rise the movie: Michelle Obama's Mission to Educate Girls Around the World," the First Lady, Meryl Streep, Freida Pinto and CNN's Isha Sesay take a journey to Morocco and Liberia, where they meet young women overcoming incredible odds to change their lives. And we are complaining because the line is too long at the coffee shop.

80 year old is the new sexy. Check out this 80 year old grandfather who stole the show during a runway show at China Fashion Week.

One of my all time favorite books is Broken Open.  It totally changed how I responded to "How are you doing?"  Our go to phrase is "I'm fine", even when we are far from that. I believe sharing our real stories allow other to do the same. As a result we all start to heal.  

You are not going to be Serena Williams in 21 days

Somewhere along this journey of life I aged. I became a middle age woman and I can promise you it isn't how I thought it would be when I was 20. I gained the weight that I thought I wouldn't. I developed the medical problems that only old people like my grandma got. And recently I have started having abnormal joint ache. Not the "Oh hell, I can't play basketball with the 20 year old" ache. Ache and swelling that get you referrals to special doctor. But I still believe that I and I alone have the power to make my life anything I want it to be. The small problem with making all of these changes it that you have to put in work. And often it takes a change in habit and persistence for these big changes to occur.

But as we all know changing habits isn't easy. We try making the changes alone and when the habit doesn't becomes automatic we sign up for a 21 day cleanse or 30 day fitness challenge. We do okay while we are in the program but two weeks later we are a few dollars lighter and mad at ourselves. What if your failure was due to the misconception of how long it takes for a habit to become automatic?

So, how long does it take to establish a new habit? 21 days, 28 days or maybe 30 days? No, No and No. We have all been bamboozled. Lied to. A plastic surgeon, Maxwell Maltz, in the 60s observed that amputees took an average of only 21 days to adjust to their loss limb. Therefore, he reasoned, without any hard proof, the same must be true of all big changes. So, here we are 50 years later beating ourselves up when we don't make major life changes in 21 days.

Okay, if it isn't 21 days then how long does it take. An average of 66 days. A study by the University College London psychologist Phillippa Lally and her colleagues helped confirm this. On average people who were trying to learn new habits such as eating fruit daily or going jogging, took 66 long days before reporting that the behavior had become automatic. And remember this is an average. Individual changes ranged widely from 18 days to a whooping 245 days.

The 21 day myth also makes us believe that any habit can be changed in 21 days. Sorry, harder habits such as learning a new subject takes longer than eating a fruit a day.  I am happy to announce that the myth of missing a day of a new habit sabotages the whole process is also wrong. Missing a day or two doesn't make a long term difference. Give yourself some slack and then restart. Believing this myth is actually not helpful because you often will give up on yourself before the habit becomes automatic.

Another factor in changing habits is realizing that habits are responds to actual needs. For example, eating that box of doughnut may be because your life is difficult and you need comfort. You have to figure out the need that triggers the desire for the doughnut (comfort) and then find something else that fulfills the need (like calling a friend). As you fulfill the need some other way then you can eliminate the habit that is no longer working.

One last factor, habits are meant to be difficult. Habits are the brains way of making life simpler. Your brain develops habits so it doesn't have to use energy processing the same routine over and over again. We see this in how we drive to work every day without thinking. Most of us can drive to work with blinders on and still make it on time. The brain wants habits to stick so this is why it takes a long time to change them, good or bad.

So, as you can see changing habits are a lot more complicated and will take longer than you think. Give yourself time and compassion as you go after your big dreams and desires.